My October Favourites x

Here are a few things I've been loving in October...


Benefit They're Real Mascara- So I know I am late to this craze but I got this mascara for my birthday in September from my sister and I am in love. "Proudly named the UKs No.1 selling mascara" and I know why. It is simply amazing and makes my eyelashes look amazing! AMAZING! that is all.
http://www.benefitcosmetics.co.uk/product/view/theyre-real


Homemade Quorn Chilli Con Carne- So I definitely should have posted a photo of my homemade Chilli that I enjoy cooking and love eating but I'm not very good at making food look photogenic. But I do make a yummy veggie chilli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 15 and I am quite fussy. But I am obsessed. I add onions, garlic, tinned chopped tomatoes and a mixture of veg (usually brocolli, carrots and sweetcorn) and have it with pasta and cheese.


ITV be- So this is the newest ITV channel and I love it. Not just because it shows my favorite program "The Only Way is Essex." But I'm also loving "7 days with..." I really enjoyed the one featuring Tamara Eccleston because shes recently had a baby.
Although I'm not sure why ITV needed another channel as its like ITV2 but hey I'm not complaining

My Gold Sequin Skirt- Ok so I'm going to let you into a little secret.. I got this gorgeous skirt from Ebay. I'm not sure what its original price was but I know it was from "Boohoo."
This is a photo of me and my younger sister Annabelle. Blake was being babysat by Nanny and Grandad and we went out for our friends 18th birthday.
I wore the skirt with a white Bardot style crop top from "Topshop" and some white court heels from "newlook" that I got years ago.














Johnsons baby bedtime bath- Smells lovely and does help relax a sleepy Blake.



Disney Junior Channel- This is a Tv channel that Blake has been loving this month. It makes me a happy mummy that he likes disney..hehe..


Halloween- Blake's 1st Halloween- Any excuse to get my baby boy all dressed up. I dont usually do anything for Halloween but I wanted to make it special for my Blake (even though he wont remember I know) So.. Blake went dressed as Dracula. His little outfit was from tescos and he looked gorgeous. We then went round to a few of my friends houses. It was a really lovely evening and Blake got lots of cuddles.

I also decided this year to carve my first Pumpkin. It was my practice for the years to come when I'll be doing it with Blake. To be honest I think I was being a bit adventurous but I am so proud of myself. And here it is.. My attempt at a Tinkerbell Pumpkin.

Thank you for reading this blog post, I hope you enjoyed it. I'm thinking of doing more of these every month. Hope you all enjoyed October and have a happy, healthy November :)

Love Kimi

x

Blake's Heart Murmur scare x

A few months ago I took Blake to see our GP as I was a bit worried about his BCG injection which on his skinny arms looked huge and infected. It turned out that his BCG was perfectly normal and was healing fine. While we was there I asked the doctor to take a listen to Blakes chest as he sometimes breathes quite heavily and used to snore. So, after what seemed like ages I was told that she could hear an innocent heart murmur. It was not what I was expecting to hear at all and it shocked me completely. I was told in detail what she could hear but it was a bit of a blur; something about the blood wooshing through the chamber. The doctor went on to tell me that its quite common in babies and Blake could grow out of it but just to make sure she referred him to the hospital to get it all checked out.

I was a bit angry, upset and confused when Blake's hospital appointment letter came through because it was scheduled for October. My family talked about maybe going private but when I  took Blake to get weighed I spoke to the health visitor and she explained that they wait a few months and it was nothing to worry about.

After a few months of waiting and worrying Blake had his appointment last week. The night before I couldn't sleep I was so worried. I cuddled Blake all night, hoping, wishing and praying that we'd get good news that the heart murmur had sorted itself out.
So we got to the hospital and had to go to the childrens outpatient ward. The appointment went quite quick but it did feel like forever when the doctor was listening to Blake's chest. After she had listened she looked up at me and told me she couldn't hear a heart murmur. I cannot explain how happy I was to hear those words. It was exactly what I wanted to hear. But just to make sure the doctor sent for Blake to have an ECG and arranged for us to have a follow up appointment in 2 months time.

I wasn't told the the results of the ECG but I haven't heard anything from the hospital since so I am assuming no news is good news. So now we will just wait for the next appointment but I'm not worried. I know there isn't anything serious with Blake's heart so I am a happy mummy.

Blake was soo well behaved at his appointment. And I was so proud of him. He had to keep having his clothes taken off and put back on and then he had to lay still while the doctor listened to his heart and he had to have the ECG stickers stuck to his little chest and had to stay so still while they took a reading. And he didn't once grizzle or cause a fuss. He was amazing.

While we was at the hospital I arranged to meet my student midwife Jenna who helped me through my pregnancy and delivered Blake and cut his chord. It was soo lovely to see Jenna and for her to have cuddles with Blake. She was also really helpful and came with me to the appointment. So thank you soo much Jenna if you are reading this.

I know people usually say when you or loved one has an illness or something, the worst thing to do is to google it. But google helped reassure my mind when I first found out that Blake could have an innocent heart murmur.
If you are in a similar situation and would like to talk to someone about anything I have wrote about please do not hesitate to contact me..

Lots of love

Kimi
x

A little letter to my Blake at 6 months x

To, My gorgeous little Prince,

The last time I wrote to you was the 1st of April and I was 35 weeks pregnant with you in my tummy. It might seem silly that I wrote to you when I hadn't even met you yet but I already knew you and I was most definitely already madly in love with you. I was going through a bad time and I was desperate to have you and cuddle you. But I knew when I was upset those little kicks were your way of telling me you loved me.

So you are now 6 months old and hasn't a lot happened in the past 6 months? I know somethings haven't been so nice but I promise I wont let it effect you. You are my main priority, my everything and believe me you will always have your mummy.

I am so lucky to have you Blakey. You are absolutely perfect. And I know I can take you anywhere as you are so well behaved. I wont even go on about how beautiful you are because we would be here all day..hehe.. I am also so proud of you and every new thing you do. From smiling to rolling to now sitting and trying to crawl. You make mummys heart melt with pride and you are my reason I smile :)

I just hope I am being the best mummy for you. I know I have struggled with a few things but I am now happier and stronger because of you and I am determined for things to only get better.
We have our special little bond and we are a little team. Me and you. Cuddling you to sleep and then waking up to your smiles is perfection. And your amazing smile, sparkly eyes and giggle are the best thing in the world and something I'll never get bored of.

We have already had some amazing memories but I cannot wait to make more and believe me there will be lots and lots.

I love you soo much,

Your Mummy
x

Heartbreak and being a Single Mummy x

I didn't know if I should write this post.

Its extremely personal, about something I will never get over. 

Something that effected me so badly and completely destroyed me and ruined my first few months of being a mummy. 

But I set up this blog to help other ladies! 

Share my experiences in hope that I can help at least one person out there.

And although I'd hate to think that anyone else has had to go through what I've been through or is going through it now (because I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone) I know its not uncommon.

But I want single mummy's out there to know you are stronger than you think and you can do it. And that is something I've come to realise now that I am a lot stronger and happier than I was.

So here it goes,

I wont be going into full detail of the story as I don't think its fair on my Blakey and his other family who didn't choose for this all to happen.

So to put things bluntly I was cheated on and left when I was 5/6 months pregnant. I was then lied to for months by my sons dad and his secret new girlfriend (yep she was able to lie blatantly to me aswell when I asked her for the truth and I told her how heartbroken I was) until finding out the truth in a very horrible way. A lot more happened but its really not worth going into.

So yeah, this was meant to be the most amazing time. I'd just had my perfect baby boy. But I was in a horrendous way because of everything going on with Blakes dad. I'd spent the last few months of being pregnant and the first few months of Blakes life fighting a losing battle, trying to win back my ex. And he would constantly tell me "He loved me" and tell me things I wanted to hear. But he had his secret girlfriend the whole time that I didnt know about.

I was distraught. I cried all the time and I was put back on anti depressants. I was embarrassed of being a single mum and I was ashamed that I had failed my son by not giving him his little family.I hated myself and didn't think I'd be a good enough mum for my Blake as I wasn't good enough for my ex.

But none of this was my choice. It was my exs. He walked out on me and Blake before Blake was even born and chosen a new life with this new girl .And the fact she was able to do this to another women (a heavily pregnant women) disgusts me.

But its true what they say.. "Time is the best healer"

I also owe everything to my family and friends and especially to my Blake for helping me get through this. Although I don't think I'll ever be fully over it. I am stronger, I am definitely happier and I know I am a million percent better off. 

I'm just sorry my family have also been hurt to because of someone else selfish actions. But I thank them from the bottom of my heart. Words cant describe how much I appreciate them being here for me and Blake.

I also want to thank the mummys on the app "Smile Mum" who have gone out of their ways to write to me and give me advice and made me smile.

Despite everything that's happened, Blake sees his dad three times a week which is hard for me. Handing him over and sharing him with someone I used to love, used to know..who is now just someone I have a baby with and someone who was able to hurt me soo badly and walk out on being a family with Blake and I. Someone I was supposed to be sharing this incredible journey with is horrible. But despite the lies going round Blake sees his dad.

I also now dont speak to my ex. Which has helped a lot as all we'd do is argue and be nasty and I couldn't cope with that. Everything could be so different and my ex could be more involved in Blakes life but I've given up pushing for that to happen. My ex has made his choice. And I wont let that effect my sons life.

Although I have been through a lot over the past few months I am now determined to make life amazing for me and my son. He deserves the best and he needs a mummy who's happy and not constantly down and depressed so I am working on doing things to make me happy and focusing on Blake. I am a Proud Single mum and I will always do everything for my son.

I didn't write this post for sympathy. I simply want to share my story to help.

Thank you so much for reading this post. If you are going through something similar and need to talk to someone please don't hesitate to get in contact with me at littlelondonmummy@hotmail.co.uk

Love Kimi 

x

My Bump Shoot x

Be prepared for some nearly naked photos I had taken when I was 37 weeks pregnant. I actually had these photos done a week and one day before I gave birth to my son so they are really special to me. So here they are...

I really enjoyed getting these photos taken and I'm so happy to have them as a keepsake to remember my pregnancy body. I was nervous at first during the photo shoot but it went really quick and I was told how to pose. I arrived at the place, had my hair and make up done and then was in the studio posing.

My favorite photo is the one of me, my mum and Blake in my tum. My mum wasn't planning on having her photo taken at all but the man taking the pictures got her up and I'm so glad he did as it was the first one I chose when picking.

I got the "Bump to Baby shoot" as a Christmas present last year from my parents but I got 5 prints for £200 on the day I had the pictures taken.

Due to how expensive these photos cost me I didn't go back to have pictures done at this place with Blake. Instead I had some professional photos taken of him when he was a few weeks old with someone else.

Although I usually hate photos of me. I love these. But it does make me miss my baby bump a little..hehe..

Thank you for reading this post and looking at my bump photos. I recommend every mum-to-be having photos taken of their beautiful bumps.

Kimi

x

Blake's 5 month Update x

So, my gorgeous baby Blake is now 5 Months old! It has gone quickly but I have loved every hour, minute and second being his mummy. Everyday he does something new and my heart literally bursts with pride. He is so perfect and well behaved (touch wood he stays that way hehe) and I absolutely love it when he looks at me with his sparkly eyes and huge smile.

Obviously things have been difficult for me, having to accept a lot of disgusting things that I never thought would happen to me and my son. Being a single mummy suffering with heartbreak and dealing with anxiety and depression certainly wasn't how I wanted things to be. But it wasn't my choice and I am now accepting what has happened and I do believe I am stronger and I will be happier for my Blake. I am soo thank full to my amazing friends and family who have helped me through this tough time but I don't want to waste anymore time being down, its not fair on my son. And although he doesn't know it or understand I thank my Blake for being my everything and being there (with big smiles and dribbly kisses) to make mummy smile.

But enough about all that..lets talk about the amazing things that have happened over the past 5 months and the amazingness of being a mummy.

Blake was born weighing 6lb 3oz. I got him weighed 2 weeks ago and he is now 15lb. He is now wearing 3-6 month clothes and yes it does make me a little sad looking at all his tiny first size outfits because he was so small when he was born. But i do love kissing his little chubby belly and making him giggle.

He certainly has found his voice. He loves shouting/talking to me, my family and cbeebies. He also likes to really look at people when they are talking to him as if he's really listening and taking everything in. He's a funny one. But also smiling. Blake is a very smiley baby and is starting to smile back at people if they smile at him. But at first he would only smile at people that he recognized. Which leads me to giggling. One of my favorite things at the moment. I will kiss his belly, neck or tickle him and he will giggle like crazy. Which is the most adorable thing.
A not so nice thing that his Grandad (my dad) has taught Blake is how to blow raspberries. He hasn't mastered how to do it with his tongue out yet but he makes the noise and dribble goes everywhere.

Blake first rolled from his front to back but last month he taught himself to roll from his back to front. I think he enjoys rolling and being on his front as he does it a lot when on his playmat on the floor. He also likes laying on his back and  holding his feet. His next thing will be sitting up as he keeps trying to and he likes sitting while being aided by me.

His favorite play thing has to be his Jumperoo. Everyone raves about this product and I can see why. I got Blake a second hand "Jumperoo- discover and grow" from ebay for extremely cheap considering how much they are to buy brand new. But this one was in perfect condition and looked like it hadn't been hardly used. But we did clean it and Blake loves it..although it did take him a few goes before he was actually bouncing. He also loves his Alfie bear by Vtech which I have done a review about. Oh and also "Sophie le giraffe" who gets covered in dribble from being chewed.

Which leads me onto teething. I think Blake has started teething as he constantly chews on his hands and everything else he can get his little hands on But I cant see any signs on teeth coming through yet and he doesnt seem to be suffering to badly yet. I am dreading teething as I hate Blake crying and I don't want him to be in pain.

Blake is now completely bottle fed. I did breastfeed for 3 months but he is now on 6oz of Aptamil and I feed on demand. He is yet to sleep through the night and every night is different but he generally wakes up twice.

Some other info- Blake has been away a few times. Not abroad yet but he has been on a boat when we went to the Isle of White. I always pack so much for him when we go away but it is a necessity. I have also taken him swimming, which he loved and hope to take him more. He has had all his immunisations. He did suffer a bit with the first and 3rd lot of jabs but that is because they include pneumonia. He got a bit grizzly and upset but that was helped by 2.5ml of Calpol.

There is probably soo much more I could fill you in on but I think that's a general update of the past 5 months. Here are some photos for you to look at to see how much Blake has changed..

Words cannot describe how much I am in love with my little Prince. He means the world to me and more.

Thank you soo much for reading this post. Please follow and share.

Kimi

x

Pregnancy Yoga..x

While I was coming to the end of my pregnancy I went to a few pregnancy yoga classes. I absolutely loved the lessons. At the start of the lessons each lady would tell the group how many weeks pregnant she was and then any news or complaints she'd had that week. It was nice to hear other pregnancy stories and listen to the women who were further along than me and what they were experiencing. 

We would then start the lesson doing different stretching positions and breathing exercises. We would end the lessons laying on our mats with our eyes closed listening to the teacher. It was soo calming. What with everything I was going through it was good to get away for an hour, relax and concentrate on the now. Not worrying about what was going on and not thinking about the future but concentrating on the moment and focusing on my breathing. It was also good to meet other pregnant ladies.

I would highly recommend pregnancy yoga for any mummy to be. I have a dance background but obviously being pregnant, my flexibility wasn't as good and my balance was horrendous..hehe..but that didn't matter. Pregnancy Yoga is adapted for your new changing body and your not made to feel like you have to do every position if your unable. 

The teacher who took the class was lovely and made you feel very welcome. She also had a very calming voice which was so easy to listen to and made you feel extremely relaxed. I'm quite shy and find it difficult to walk into places I've never been before but as soon as I entered the yoga class I was warmly greeted by the teacher and made to feel welcome.

Benefits of pregnancy yoga:

• Boost your energy levels
• Keeps the body strong and supple
• Connect with your breath and become more physically aware of your body
• Relieve tension promote relaxation
• Discover birthing positions for a healthy labour
• Relieve minor ailments (e.g heartburn, swollen joints, PSD, sciatica)
• Help you relax and promote restful sleep (www.sallysyoga.co.uk/pregnancy)

I started pregancy yoga classes quite late on in my pregnancy but wish I had started sooner. You can start the lessons from 12+ weeks(second trimester)

Here is the link to classes I went to www.sallysyoga.co.uk

My lessons were in Isleworth and they cost me £12 a lesson. I found the classes as they were advertised on www.netmums.co.uk.

Many thanks for reading,

Kimi

x